Moonkate or Mooncake?

2011-11-02T08:46:00.001-07:00

Miffed....

When the person you like you have no access to but the person you don't like like you.
And to add on to that, another person like you but your best buddy likes him.
As a result, your best buddy hates you and the person that likes you avoids you...

Sadz....

Am I going to lose all my friends this way...help...I didn't do anything wrong...

Plans plans plans

2011-09-02T08:59:00.000-07:00

Have I really moved on with life?

Yeah in some ways yes and in some ways no.

Generally I have learnt a lot this past year on life and how to move on from here.

I have learnt how to grow up and handle adult matters.

I have learnt to stand up for myself and not to fear to stand up for what's fair and just.

I hope that I have not disappointed anyone.

I am doing my best, everyday to move on from here.

Have to start making plans.

Brave New World?

2011-01-13T06:30:00.001-08:00

Will I be able to come out of everything whole again? I seriously don't know. Everyday I tell myself that things will get better from here but I still keep seeing clouds. I know I should think positively but it gets worse when I'm alone by myself. All the memories start to flood back. I need an avenue to release and I guess I've found my avenue.

As for the rest of my life, well I just have to stay positive and move on. Step by step, slowly or rapidly, it doesn't matter. I am afraid of being alone. But yet I know I have to get used to it. I can't settle for second best because I know I will regret it. On hindsight, a lot of things were totally unpredictable. What life has in store I don't know. I only know that its going to be good. I'm scared but yes its going to be good.

And everything will flow on from here.

Searching for a new hope

2010-07-13T04:54:00.000-07:00

Those pals who know me since I was young will really understand...I've been through a lot the past year and I am finally moving on with my life. Now is a good time to reflect on and think. Yes, I am scared inside sometimes but I know I will survive because Buddha and God is with me.
I learnt that marriage is not always such as what we see it. In the past, people told me that you need a partner to be with you till the rest of your life. But all that is not important anymore. Because we don't know when things will go wrong and when your partner will leave you. Hence, you should always be prepared for the future. Such as seeing your ex bf going to get married in less than a year while you waited aimlessly for 3 years or with one that left you to handle all the stress while claiming that he loves you. We gotta all live with it and move on.
I love my family and they will always be in my heart, body and soul. Until the day I meet the guy who can be my soulmate. Whom I can share my heart with. Till then, now is the time I move on to the next phase of my life. Heaven please look after us. Need you.

What is the meaning of life?

2010-02-14T08:08:00.000-08:00

I know its CNY and I shouldn't be writing all this but this is really all my personal thoughts lately.

What is the meaning of life?
Is it to find a partner, get married, have kids, see them grow up then retire and die?
Is it to work your whole life away then one day find out that you have a sickness and you have less than a year to live then start to regret the things you could have done?
Is it to control diet and keep yourself healthy but still end up having end stage cancer and still die in the end?
Is it to earn a lot of money, have a lot of status and wealth but nothing meaningful to bring to the coffin?
Is it to devote your whole life away to be a swinging bachelor/bachelorette but still end up lonely? Or end up dying of a heart attack while visiting a prostitute?
Is it to devote your wholfe life away to a particular religion and live the life of that particular religion religiously?
Is it to attain satisfaction from being the top and then end up having the hradest fall of your life when you realise how inhumane you have been in order to get to the top?
So what is status?
So what is power?
So what is money?
So what is being desirable?
So what if you are darn good-looking?
So what if you have a lot of girlfriends or boyfriends? What is there to be proud of?
That these people are attracted to your looks or your money or your status?
Simply meaningless.
No matter how much money you earn, you can never bring all that to the coffin.
No matter who you marry, you never know when he or she is going to cheat on you or when he or she will change.
No matter how many children you have, you never know what they will do to you when you are penniless and of no use to them.
So at the end of the day, what is the meaning of life?
Why are we here for in this world?
To suffer, to pay our debts and figure out what we are here for?
Will we really figure out what we are here for?
Or will we only try to psycho ourselves that we know what we want and end up living that lie our whole life?
Or have you never really thought about this question in the first place and never wondered what we are here for?
Alright, I know everyone thinks I have been thinking too much. But I don't think I have thought too much. I feel that people think that way 'cos they have not seen the things I have seen despite not being very old in age. A lot of people my generation haven't seen so many hard knocks in life yet because they have everything planned for by their parents and they just follow their parents' wishes.
I want to figure out my purpose in life. I want to find my polestar because when I die, one fine day, I want to leave without regrets and know that I have done my best in this lifetime.
I want my life to be meaningful, well-lived and memorable.

Moving On...Lalala

2009-07-28T08:35:00.001-07:00

Let's look at the brightside of life today...
1) At least I left work early
2) At least I met an old friend whom I haven't seen in ages...
3) At least I managed to complete my product startup
4) At least I still have many people around me who love and care for me
5) At least I have time to plan for what I want to do with the rest of my life
6) Sometimes, we have no control over certain things and somethings happen for a reason
7) At least a good friend is coming back this weekend
8) At least I have good buddies I'm meeting this Friday
9) At least I have a team of nice people to work with
10) At least I still have a purpose in life

Well, I just gotta stay positive yah?
=)

Simply no point

2009-06-30T07:13:00.000-07:00

Well, well, I've got things figured. Some people are just not worth our time. So yeah, I'm moving on. Enough rubbish, I mean, all of us can only mope and be sad for a while but not forever right? Life still has to go on.
So here's the next song in my head.
Life goes on and it's gonna make me strong!

2009-06-28T08:42:00.000-07:00

Well, now's there's a new tune in my head and its "Don't Speak" by No Doubt. Nothing else to say right now. Goodnight.

2009-06-28T07:53:00.000-07:00

I must be insane...how can a girl have so many tunes popping in her head and have so many thoughts to blog about in a day. Arrggh....Kathlin wake up your idea.
Alright I slept through a lot and I can't really sleep right now because another stupid tune is popping in my head.
This time its "Another sad love song" by Toni Braxton.
Before this it was Shania Twain's "You're still the one".
What's my problem? I've already said I will not regret my decision......arrgghhh...
Ok, think I need a couple of days to calm down, get my nerves and anguish cooled.
I'm a survivor. And this is nothing new...

2009-06-28T04:02:00.000-07:00

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/afp/20090619/tts-health-japan-lifestyle-weight-7d7070a.html
A Japanese study has shown that slightly overweight people have a longer life span. Well, at least there is finally some study that shows better sense, I mean expect malnourished people to have enough energy to fight diseases? Get a break.

Yes, and I need a break too. Seems like after the breakup, I need a lot of catching up on sleep to do. I slept and slept and slept, just like after the exams in the uni days...

And it seems that my theme song keeps changing daily. I keep having different tunes popping up in my head.

Yesterday it was Damage's "Forever".
"CHORUSI'll be loving you foreverDeep inside my heart you'll leave me neverEven if you took my heart and tore it apartI would love you still foreverYou are the sun, you are my lightAnd you're the last thing on my mind...)"

But today, I sing a different tune. The song that keeps popping up in my head is "Emotions".

"Its over and doneBut the heartache lives on inside..."

Yes I think it gets gloomier by the day and I'll probably get out of this rut in a week or two.

I mean, we all can't be unhappy forever right. I give you, Kathlin, the right to be upset for a week or two, after which, please stop and smell the roses.

Stop And Smell The RosesMac Davis(Davis/Severinsen)

"Hey MisterWhere you going in such a hurryDon't you think it's time you realizedThere's a whole lot more to life than work and worryThe sweetest things in life are freeAnd there right before your eyesYou got to Stop and Smell the rosesYou've got to count your many blessings everydayYou're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky roadIf you don't Stop and Smell the roses along the wayBefore you went to work this morning in the city Did you spent some time with your familyDid you kiss your wife and tell her that she's prettyDid you take your children to your breast and love them tenderlyYou got to Stop and Smell the rosesYou've got to count your many blessings everyday..."

Alright, stop and smell the roses Kathlin, and God/Buddha/whichever higher being up there will help you find your way.

Why why why

2009-06-27T07:35:00.000-07:00

Why am I always the nice girl, being made used of by others?
Why am I always still the nice one, who learns to forgive and forget.
Seriously I'm sick of being Miss Nice, why can't I just be mean for once.
Why do I feel even more hurt inside when I am mean to others...
I really hate this.
Arrgghhh......

I'd rather not have loved than to have loved

2009-06-27T06:36:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of angst inside of me...
I feel cheated, hurt and betrayed...
By the very people whom I trust and love...
Well, I guess we all have to learn things the hard way, don't we...
Well, as I've said, "Talk is cheap. Actions Speak Louder than words."
I know where I should stand.
And the word is "away".
Till then...
I'm a survivor.

What is love?

2009-06-13T18:02:00.000-07:00

In our everyday life,
seriously what is love?
I've come to a point whereby I don't know anymore.
When it comes to weighing between pleasing family and loving someone,
which path should one choose?

If a person really loves another,
shouldn't it be unconditional and with all their hearts?
If its not the case,
and certain factors are still more important than their "true love",
are they still fit to call the other person their "true love"?

So what is love really?
After the romance dies down,
when the problems come
and its so hard to keep up,
is there any point in moving on with it?

I've learnt,
at the end of the day,
we all just want to be happy.

Let's just leave it and move on with our lives.

Its hard

2009-04-05T07:08:00.000-07:00

Well, I haven't been blogging for ages, realised that I have a tendency to blog when I'm unhappy....Well, so now I am here, with nothing much to say except nothingness...
I feel this emptiness inside with nothing but hatred, hatred for things I cannot change and hatred to myself for being silly. Well, I must accept whatever decision and move on with my life..ganbate!

Mid-Autumn Festival!

2008-09-14T12:44:00.000-07:00

Cheers people! Its mid-autumn festival again! Yay!
Well, time really flies. Can't believe my last entry was like......in April! Wow!
What do I have to reflect on this time?
Well, I have 10 lessons learnt this year. Good or bad, its up to us to see it. Lets just say I've learnt along the way, to be less naive, to stand up for my rights, to be more selfish because sometimes some things are just not worth our precious time.
1) Well, its when you are at your most stressful and troubling period that you learn who are your true friends. People who forget you and only want you as a friend when they need you are just not worth your time. As a true friend, you should not want to have friends just to make use of them to garner votes, etc...instead you should genuinely be concerned with their well-being and not forget them when you have new friends. Having lost touch with these people is not a loss. Its their loss.
2) Well, we all have to take responsibility for our own life. Be it in relationships, career etc. Everyone is his/her unique individual, and nobody really knows what you think. Anyway, I'm going to live my live my way and not to put other people's demands on top of mine. I have my plans and they have theirs, why must I always be the one to compromise? So well, I'm going to be a tougher nut to crack. Lalala...
3) And yes, last but not least, I'm going to treasure those who are true and dear to me because life's totally unpredictable. Its been a really challenging time this year, many ups and downs. At the end of the day, I'm really grateful to have what I have right now and learn to be more contented.
Many big lessons summed up in the above 3 paragraphs. If I write anymore, nobody would want to read my blog. Hahaha. Anyway, Happy Mooncake Festival! As you're enjoying your Snow Skin Raffles Hotel truffle mooncake, or your Goodwood Park Traditional, take a moment to appreciate nature and life, as well as the people around you. Cheers!

Well, what is important to you? Are relationships the ultimate goal?

2008-04-22T05:53:00.000-07:00

What is important to you? That is the question that I have been asking myself. What is important to me? So what if you have people who like you? So what if you are attached? So what if you are married? What difference does it make? At the end of the day, we are just simply trying to survive in this BIG world out there. So does it matter whether we get married or not? Does it matter whether we have someone to partner with our entire lives?
So what if at one moment, you thought you've met the one of your dreams, only to realise, one day, that actually what you liked was only what you thought he or she was? Shouldn't we love someone for who they are and not what we think or what we want them to be? Check.
Why is it that out of the many choices out there, one knows that deep down, one will never like any of these people no matter how rich, clever, smart or poor they are? Why is first impression so important? Check.
If there's nothing wrong with all these people, does it mean that there is something wrong with thee? Why does everyone try to push it and make me wonder whether is getting hitched the ultimate goal in life?
Why do I start to have these thoughts?
Why does the appearance of certain issues and things in life make me ponder yet again.
I must gain enlightenment.
=p

I love this song

2007-12-11T05:04:00.000-08:00

Lyrics: Timbaland Ft. One Republic - Apologize
Lyrics taken from the: Album Version
I'm holding on your rope Got me ten feet off the ground And I'm hearing what you say But I just can't make a sound You tell me that you need me Then you go and cut me down But wait... You tell me that you're sorry Didn't think I'd turn around and say.. That it's too late to apologize, it's too late I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you And I need you like a heart needs a beat (But that's nothing new) Yeah yeah I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue And you say Sorry like the angel heaven let me think was you But I'm afraid It's too late to apologize, it's too late I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late Woahooo woah It's too late to apologize, it's too late I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late I said it's too late to apologize, yeah yeah I said it's too late to apologize, a yeah I'm holding on your rope Got me ten feet off the ground

Lament lament lament

2007-11-13T08:30:00.000-08:00

Going by the title, I bet you wouldn't even want to read this blog.
Somehow or rather, I just feel like lamenting about....affairs today. By "affairs", I don't mean those in terms of "romantic relationships". I am referring to "affairs" in general, like family affairs, friend affairs, educational affairs...etc...
Alright let's start with friends. Somehow, as we all start out working, we realise that friends slowly distant themselves from one another. And we always lament and blame it on work. But what I realised is that, it is just that sometimes, friendships are not based on how much time you spend with the person, but rather what it is based on. If a person understands you well enough, they will understand. But of course, we must always make sure that we never neglect these true friendships. Don't just throw it away just because a person has gotten attached or married. After all, as the saying goes, "Make new friends, keep the old. One is silver, the other gold." Friends who only look you up when they have broken up with their boyfriends and need someone to talk to. Although I am always there for them, sometimes we just can't help but wonder whether are we just a pillar of support in times of need? Are we being made use of only when the time comes?
Emotional affairs. Everyone has their own secrets. Or rather a store of secrets buried deep within. Whether it gets unlocked or not is up to them. Don't keep haunting them about it. If people want to talk, they will talk.
Nobody will truly understand another person. "Cos in the end, they are not that person himself. We can all try to understand but we will never be another person. "Cos our character is what makes us unique.
Ok lah, I shall stop my crap for the day.
Bye.

Hey pple

2007-10-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

Hey pple, haven't been blogging for 2 mths now...how uncool is that? Huh? Hahaaz...
Anyway, still very much the same, same old me. Everyday is a learning journey, everyday we get better and stronger; I hope.
I hope this blog will serve as an inspiration and a constant reminder of my weals and woes. Of growing up in this digital world and political society as a whole.
Now let's get today's quote started:

In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.

Thomas Jefferson3rd president of US (1743 - 1826)

It's been a while

2007-09-10T09:41:00.000-07:00

Wow, its been a while since I last blogged...
What changes?
1) Ok, I did lotsa crazy things to my hair...It's now been dyed, permed and highlighted. What next? Cut it short? Hey come on, we need to update ourselves once in a while right?
2) Eh...taking on lotsa different stuff, not work related.
Things like Anlene Run,
Amore Women's Day Out,
Shape Run, upcoming
Standard Chartered
Ok, I admit, I am not that Fit...I only signed up for the shortest distance of Standard Chartered's Run.
But hey, I am not there to compete. I am there to have fun and get some exercise. =)
So dun complain...what a slacker I am
3) Hmm...I think I have been a bit too frank and let whatever comes to mind rule my head. And I just shoot it out without any qualms. But then again, I have bothered too much in the past two decades. Sometimes, we need to face ourselves frankly right?
4) Alright. Having NO time for friends. That's what they always say about working. Pple ask me to get a life man. But I am getting one, I work hard, play hard but still dun have enough time hahaz...so greedy...
5) Seriously, I want to do something meaningful like fund raising or visit some home. But I dunno whether I am ready for it yet. A part of me wants to help, but I haven't let go of some things yet. at least, not totally. My buddies will know what I am referring to. Well, all the good people go to heaven right? Hmmm...ok, no more comments...
6) Alright, I need to get started on other things I want to do but have been procrastinating for months. Like keeping fit, etc etc.
And at the same time, I will still catch up with everyone. No worries. Yeah! It's all about prioritising and spending time wisely.

Long time no see....having neck sprain currently

2007-08-24T07:35:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have been blogging for let me see...almost 3 months now? Wow, record breaker...heeeheeezz...ok lah, I have never been an avid blogger...Blogging always blows hot and cold for me. Anyway, I am pretty irritated..I sprained my neck...How did it come about?
Well well, on Thursday morning, I woke up as usual to brush my teeth and get to work...I gave a stretch, then I heard a "Piak" sound cominng from the left side of my neck...Thereafter, when I tried to turn my head to the right, there was a pain in my neck...I contemplated going to work for a while...afterall, I have already woken up to go to work! But anyway, even turning head also got pain, how to work? So poor me, had to take MC.
Sigh, I still have a lot of things to do at work one leh...
Anyway, I went to see 2 types of doctors cos I want to recover fast...I went to the Western Doctor to get painkillers. And later went to see a Sinseh for traditional "turning" of my head...
Ok, I seriously think the Chinese Sinseh's method is what my Brother calls "The Turn Roti-Prata" method. Whichever way, after he turned my head in both directions, the pain subsided. So I guess, it was a good thing that I did not just see a Western Doctor for painkillers.
Right now, I am trying to type this blog while leaning back on my chair. Sigh....I tried to do my Japanese homework but my neck area feels very strained after about 2 hours. So now I am leaning back so as not to add pressure to my neck. I am determined to finish my Japanese homework K!
Heeheez...
On a personal note, I am very touched by all the great friends I have. Whether we catch up or not, I know that our bonds will always be there. Love you gals! Not like some people who are there only when they need something from you. Such hypocrites! I hate hypocrites! People who pretend to be nice and friendly as and when they like and expect you to be there for them when they come back looking for you. Alright, hate is too strong a word. Let's just say to each his own and one day, the truth will come to light and we will know who our true friends are yeah?
To all the dear fellas that buzzed me, take care and don't overstretch and end up like moi!

Odd, Weird, Period, Full_Stop.

2007-06-23T11:11:00.000-07:00

Odd, Weird, Period, Full-Stop.
This has nothing to do with the time of the month. I just somehow get that lost feeling on certain things in life. But then again, on the other hand, I am not exactly lost. So what am I actually, I also do not know.
Live, life, love. I love my friends and family. I don't bear grudges although there are some people whom I will never understand in my entire life and whom I have already chosen to give up on. Why do we want to bother about these little things in life when we can seek happines in other little things in life.
Who are our true buddies actually? Those that are there only when they need you? If that is the case, I'd rather not have such people in my life. I hate being a fake person. So I don't. I don't care what other people say, as long as I'm happy. Life is a melancholic affair.
Why am I always saying things in such philosophical manners? I wonder. Maybe its my star sign. Maybe its me. I hate to be caught in a web of any kind. Even if it doesn't really involve me, but somehow I get stuck in it. I want to be free. Free like the fishes in the sea, free like the birds in the sky.
Today's entry is complicated? Or perhaps hard to comprehend? I am just saying things in circles and circles and circles. Life, isn't it a circle as well. The world is afterall, round.
I'm happy with this entry though. "Cos maybe I am the only one who understands. Nobody knows it but me. End of story period. I am happy to blog like this. Full-stop. Period.

The far more important things in life

2007-06-17T10:22:00.000-07:00

Someone once asked me what's important to me? What do I want in life? And what is good enough for me?
That was over a year ago. As I look back, I have already done a lot of things in the past one year, some are things that I have never done before in my whole life before that. Things like going KTV till 3 am and clubbing till 2 plus and yet still the same old me, who can be totally unavailable for consecutively months just because I'm busy. Going for things like The Anlene Women's Mile. Joining Makeup workshops and getting interviewed by a magazine. Getting a California Fitness Membership and then cancelling it.
Busy with? All sorts of stuff. Like going swimming, running, Japanese classes, reading my favourite magazines. I guess I just want to try so many things that I have never done before and next on my list: Christina Aguilera's concert.
Well, what else then? Bungee Jumping, sitting on a rollercoaster, learning how to cycle (yes, still can't cycle enough), going scuba diving. But well, an idea is just an idea. Maybe I'll never dare ride on the rollercoaster my whole life. Hmm...
But one thing I have learnt is to be true to oneself. No matter what happens, you are still who you are and you are forever answerable to yourself. I always keep this a point in my mind. At the end of the day, we are who we are and we should not change ourselves if there is nothing wrong with us. Just because there are people who are different from us doesn't mean we should change and be like them. I, for one, will never change myself just to get into a person's good books. We must all accept others for who they are and vice versa. If not for all these differences, wouldn't the world be a super dull place?
That's all I have to say. Stay true to who you are and what you are. "Cos the identity is yours and yours alone.

Hair Woes? Pah Hambug!

2007-05-19T07:35:00.000-07:00

Yes dears, I permed my hair. I swear it looks auntie now. Oh dear. Everyone says I look better with my own natural curls. But I don't want to just cut my hair. Cos nobody knows I cut my hair everytime I trim it. SO I decided to be a little more adventurous... and ended up looking like an Afro!
Welcome to Afro land. Haha!...
I must find a STOREROOM to hide my face on Monday when I get back to work so that no ones recognises me. Maybe there's no need to hide either since I am alread an Afro.
Besides that, what other brave things have I done this week? I bravelt spoke my mind, or rather smsed whatever I thought in order to wash someone's brain. Some people need others to give them a wake-up call or they will forever be living in their own fantasy. I hope I did the right thing. No regrets for this one.
I want my peace for now. Just let me live my life the way I want it. Give me a break and stop all those gossips. You are no paparazzi. Once again, GIMME A BREAK!
Ok then, new blogskin. New me. One that truly wants to break free.

Something wrong with Blogger?

2007-05-06T08:38:00.000-07:00

14 day detox programme

2007-03-31T08:14:00.000-07:00

Hey dudes,
yes I am on a 14 day detox programme. A some kind of internal cleansing system that has laxatives, fibre and milk thistle supplements to go along. I know you must be thinking this girl's crazy. But seriously, I think I really need to cleanse my body since I have been falling sick on and off ever so often.
Sounds scary huh? Laxatives...Uh huh...
Heeeheee...
At the end of the detox programme,
I hope to
1) lose all the toxins from my body,
2) grow taller ( I wish! )
3) have a better figure, weight loss alone is not important, I dun want the jiggly fats
4) I want to be toned, yes I am going to embark n a new swimming cum gym regime, I know I didn't keep to plans at California Fitness
5) And I am going to embark on doing other things I wanted to start on long ago, but didn't have the time to, such as clearing stuff, clear my body of toxins and clean my room of dust. Yeah!
Ok, all the best to myself. Wahaha.

No particular title

2007-03-10T00:47:00.000-08:00

Oh dear, think I've put on weight. But seriously, my weight hasn't changed much except that I have had less time to exercise compared to the past. But anyway, I have been real busy with work and stuff, and trying to catch up with so many different friends. Hmm...But anyway, I have already gone swimming recently, and realised how much I missed my laps. =)
Anyway, very hard to meet friends on weekdays cos everyone's so scattered around Singapore and I always can't commit to my proposed time. Hiaz. So weekends only. But we always have a lot of personal stuff to do on weekends. Like go to banks, clear up mails, etc.
Ok, why am I lamenting so much today. I just woke up from a 12-hour sleep afterall. Haha. Yawnz. Later meeting my pals for dinner, months since we last met. Every year, we will try to meet during our birthday months. And still got to collect lenses from the optician, etc...Can I like have everything delievered to my place? Hmmm...
Ok lah, enough liao. =)

Emotions? What are they?

2007-03-02T19:06:00.000-08:00

On life...
There are some times in life when you just want to take a step back and forget everything that has happened and just life a quiet simple life. That's the mood I am in these days. Why should we get ourselves so affected over issues and try to resolve and make everyone happy?Sometimes, its easier to be a simple little girl without a care or worry. Whatever comes, will come. Whatever leaves, just let it be. I am not going to be so upset and let these emotional turmoils torment my brain cells. After all, there is really nothing you can do.
On people...
We can never really fully understand what others may think. Make new friends, keep the old. One is silver, the other gold. Give and take and all will be fine. One thing I truly learn. Some people will never truly appreciate what you have done and there are also friends who treat you as a standby when they are lonely and will be MIA when they no longer need you. So if you already know what these people are like, why make your life so miserable by trying to please these people when they come looking for you? There is a limit to stupidity. And I don't want to be that stupid girl.
On work...
Work has its challenges, human-to-human relations. Even animal, or rather insects to insects relations. Like the cockroach that lives in the locker. No matter how many pandan leaves I put, MIA then a few weeks later come back. That's what I call cockroach to human relation. Hahaz. But anyway, don't let your personal life interfere with your work. Another thing I learnt. You cannot stop others' gossip but you can always turn a deaf ear to them. Life is short, don't let the little things affect you.
On myself...
Sometimes, we wonder why we behave a certain way and why we let some things affect us so much. Take life with a pinch of salt and be happy. That's my motto. Why compare? Everyone's different. People keep asking me why I am not attached and why I don't want to get attached. I mean, come on, isn't it asking the obvious? "Cos I haven't met the right person to get attached to. Maybe I have already met but I don't know that that is the right one? Heh? And there are some whom you love as a very good friend but never as a boyfriend. And there are also some whereby both parties or one party has already tried to make things work but it already doesn't and you are too tired to bother anymore. Being single is good. No obligations, no pressures. Let it stay that way until the right one comes along. Yes, I am single. Please stop asking me why I am single. I don't see anything wrong with it. I used to worry if once I hit 30 will I still be on the market and should I just accept whoever comes along and try to make it work. As we grow up, we think differently. I am just happy to focus on my goals in life right now and be good friends with everyone. I am not going to bother if one by one, all my cousins and friends get married one by one and I'm still not attached. I am happy for my friends and family that they have found the right one to marry but that is not going to push me into a hasty relationship.
On fun...
When its time to work, we work. When its time to have fun, we have fun. Life is short. Make the most of it. You never know when a person suddenly dies. With my grandma's anniversary round the corner, I am reminded of how short life is and how many things I could have done for her if only her time weren't so short.
On love...
I really hope to meet a person who will love me for who I am, what I am and not how I look or how fat or thin I am. At the end of the day, everyone ages. What will last is truly loving a person for who he or she really is and not the superficial qualities like wealth and looks. But at the end of the day, of course, you have to love the person for the same reasons as well for the relationship to work. I always think it takes time to really know a person so don't ever set a target like by when must chase after a girl. Love is not buying a present.
On blogging...
I have always been a diary sort of person. I love to write. At times I share my personal views in my blog. But sometimes I really don't want people to question me or ask me anything that I wrote in my blog. I know its online. I know its open to all. But don't bug me on my blog. Or ask irritating questions. I need a break. This is my outlet to unleash.
Ok then, till next time.

What kind of a cruel joke is that?

2007-02-03T08:34:00.000-08:00

What kind of a cruel joke is that? I went swimming and the next morning, my neck regions started itching and I had small red bumps..EEWWW>.....horrid....and I spent the entire week seeing the doctor, had an injection for my rash, took medication, and medicine...Plus figuring out what to wear for work cos I can't wear anything that covers the neck region, and hence all wide, open neck tops.
Well, I still dunno what I got an allergy from. But I am quite sure its something else as well cos the previous week I had similar rash on my back but it got better by itself. So I really dunno what to say.
Anyway, this vain pork here is still in spaghetti for the time being until I get well. Of cos I dun wear my low back spaghetti to work..I put another top over it...Shopping a lot lately for the CNY, tmr maybe go dye hair...what colour shall I do this time? Hmm....

Life is short

2007-01-29T07:55:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling great cos I can finally squeeze time for swimming. Phew. Yeah!
Anyway, me tired. Going to sleep. One day I'll write a novel on my dream fairytale. For the time being, GoodnightZ.
Moonkate

Escape!

2007-01-22T06:28:00.000-08:00

Area Moonland's machine is faulty. Escape!
Area Moonland's machine is faulty. Escape!
The above sounds extremely familiar to me when I am in the CR, except that it's not area Moonland. Duh!
Oh well, what's my problem? Well, I am trying to escape from pple whom I accidentally added to msn, then keep asking me to send them my photos. Goodness knows what these people want with my pics. So scary...
Anyway, thanks for everyone's concern, I've gotten better. Actually (I think you, the reader is going to say that I'm nuts.) I've lost about 2 kg from this bout of flu. Heeheez. So something good came out of it after all. Sing says that I've proven that I'm a workaholic. And hey hey, Mel's back!
ANYWAY, CAN MY DEAR FRIENDS HERE PLEASE PASTE YOUR BLOG ADDRESS TO MY TAGBOARD SO THAT I CAN UPDATE MY FRIEND'S LIST IN MY BLOG?
Thanks.

Light-hearted note

2007-01-17T07:56:00.000-08:00

Ok, I have no idea why I am down with flu although I know that you gals are going to say that its because I am sick and I don't take MC. I already took last week dears. I have no idea why I kena flu today. "Cos I was finally well without the dreaded cough. And yet this stupid flu had to come. Maybe its also because I eat too much junk food. I ate potato chips and drank cold drinks 'cos I was super bored with the same old food.
A lot of things I want to do when I get well...
1) Beach volleyball + Canoeing + Frisbee! Yes, when I get well...
2) Hmmm...so sorry to a friend that I couldn't make it for California Fitness with you. Maybe I should resume my membership? I think with all that exercise, my health could improve.
3) Practice guitar, although I should be practising all the time...
4) Hey, maybe sick can lose weight huh? I haven't been exactly slim before, always got a bit plump and I hate my thighs! I'm serious. Although that bit of baby fat does make a person look younger
5) Play batminton. Been itching for that game for months. Yes, yes, I keep saying but no action.
Haha, things to look forward to when I get well...
Dun worry lah, I will down all the Vit C, Primrose Oil, Multivitamins etc that I can get my hands on, but still no veges please. =)
Ok lah, me gonna bathe liao.

Hmmm...

2007-01-17T07:36:00.000-08:00

Well well, my dear friend just said that with my workaholic attitude, later I whole entire life also not married. Hey, hey, dun curse me...I do want my own family and own kids, eventually. Can teach my children maths and english, go library borrow books, go for piano and swimming lessons...Nice Saturday evening by the beach, just sitting down there, singing songs with your loved ones...
But life's not so easy and so smooth-sailing. Everyone is born with different set of responsibilities and environment. There are many things that I regret in life, although I already told myself that I will not regret. Images still pop up now and then, and they say that the impact won't be that great until months or even years later. That's true, for me, images pop up now and then; and some things I really hate myself for; although I really know that that's the decisions that I have made and it was the best I could have done.
Well, in case you are lost..today's entry wasn't meant to gather any feedback or anything. I just feel like typing and typing and typing and just let my thoughts flow.
Maybe I should entry a more light-hearted one in my next blog? =)

Have no fear

2007-01-13T23:18:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we just want a little time of our own, away from family and friend's obligations and just heck everyone else so that we can have some time of our own. I need just that. I am constanly expected to be doing this and that and even shopping also must go out with friends to shop meh? Sometimes, I feel that I can get things done all on my own more efficiently than with others around. Not trying to insult anyone here, maybe its just due to my independent streak? But doesn't everyone have an independent streak in all of us? When we have to meet up with others, be it family or friends, don't we have to wait for each other and seek other's opinions until we drag the whole entire process of something as simple as shopping? Today, I want my personal space. Whether I am going for gym, swim or whatever, I am going to do it at my own time and as and when I like. Just going to have an entire day of my own. Totally my own.

Woke up my idea

2007-01-13T11:42:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the life of human beings.
I have been living in my fairyland long enough and its time for me to step out and have no fear. Just put my best foot forward to achieve my goals and nothing can stop me.
Life's short and I don't want to regret anything. Different people have different aims in life and that's what makes everyone so unique and special. There is no point quarreling or arguing about issues, just try to take a step back and put yourself in other people's shoes and try to understand. Although, sad to say, up to today, I still meet so many self-centered people who care more about themselves than anything and never try to understand others. To these people, their point of view is always correct. All I have to say is, if you have never been in a particular situation, you will never know and be able to comprehend. But at the very least, a person should be understanding of others. If not then, well I guess, the so-called friendship has failed. No point arguing especially if you have already tried umpteen times to make your friend understand but to no avail.
Like those friends whereby you make a point to contact them at the expense of your many responsibilities but they take it for granted and only contact you as and when they feel like it when they want something out of you. And while they are having fun, they totally forget your existence until months later. Plus you tried to maintain the friendship when you are in such a rotten situation and feeling totally lost. Don't you feel like you have been used by these people? Friends who have let you down time and again, I have only one thing to say "Forget it Lah!" Although we should always forgive and forget, but with each letdown, the more you ponder upon whether you can trust a person anymore.
Alright, I'm done complaining. What am I doing still up at 3.57am on a Saturday Night? Just had my primary school class gathering. Time really flies, it's been 12 years since we completed Primary School. Wow. We went for BBQ and had dessert at Holland V. I didn't know that there's a Settler's Cafe in Holland V as well. Always thought that there is only 1 branch at Clarke Quay.
Btw, Paris Hilton's singing in the background as I turn on my 98.7 FM station. Spent a bomb shopping today. Retail therapy always works. Sometimes, its good to shop alone without anyone 'cos you can get more shopping done and you don't have to wait for one another. Hahaz.
Why does everyone keep asking me what I do during weekends and why am I always so busy? Everyone has things to do what. It's whether you want to do them or not or just slack at home. It can be in the form of grocery shopping, practising music, exercise, or simply just catching up on your sleep.
Sigh, I have exceeded my sleepy time and I am actually wide awake now at 4.06am. Hahaz.
I got a set of VCDs to watch. Should I or should I not? Hmmm..
And there's the exercise I have been pushing back 'cos of my prolonged cough. Resume California Fitness membership? Aiyah, ok lah, stop my story-telling.
Dear gals, I know you think I have been more busy than usual but to me it's still the same old me. Last time when I worked weekends, juggled full-time studies and tuition also like that what. And I have got prolonged cough before, don't you remember? I think I am the kind who has got extremely sensitive lungs. No problem one, don't worry. Anyway, getting better liao. Heez. Somemore I keep on anyhow eat, of 'cos prolonged lah.
Ok lah, sleep time...or watch "Gong"? Hmm.....
Haha

??!!??####!!!!!

2007-01-06T22:50:00.000-08:00

Maybe I'm just having a period of bad moods all the way? Or maybe I am just sick and tired of being accomodating to everyone and everything. I seriously think its time for me to just stick to my principles and my ideals and just do whatever I want to.
Scenarios:
1)Let's say this friend of yours keeps calling you to go out and have fun everytime. But once he or she gets attached, he or she hecks you. Until cracks appear in their relationships or when they are single again, then they come and find you again for compainionship. Should you even bother about such people?
2)Let's say you treasure this old friendship of yours so much so that you'll never miss your pal's b'day. Even when they are down and out, you specially call them out to pass your friend your special Birthday gift for them. Then when its your birthday, he or she clean forgotten about it and you didn't even get a "Happy Birthday" sms. You bother about such people anymore?
3)And the stupid people who keep cutting queue when waiting for the bus at the bus interchange. Elderly and people who have leg pain or pregnant women I don't mind. But how about kids whose stupid mom ask they to hurry up go up the bus and cut queue? My goodness, what kind of parents are these? Teach the kid to cut queue one?
4)I extremely hate it when people keep using you as a benchmark for comparison. Healthy competition is fine and it makes a person improve and be better. But if it is until the fact that you get jealous and keep finding ways and means to put the other person down, then that's a super wrong mentality. Indeed.
5)And people like hairdressers whom you used to frequent but once you go to someone else for once or something, they are just not so friendly anymore...Is this the world? Who is nice for the sake of being nice and not just because they want something out of a person?
I rest my case. I want my peace. I am happy to be nice just because that is in my character. But if that subjects me to unfair treatment then I am not going to standby and continue to be used. Come'on, I am no idiot. Sometimes I just decide that human is all kind by nature and I am just not so calculative about things. But at times, I really feel very used and worn out by these people and wonder if I should just give a tit-for-tat treatment to them.
That's life? Hahahazzz...Cold laugh...

To blog or not to blog?

2007-01-04T07:06:00.001-08:00

I know why people like to keep their blogs and their identities separate. Sometimes, we tend to have things we want to complain about but then again we just don't want to ruin a friendship or end up putting people down. Bu tthen we still need the blog as an outlet for our views and as a mode to gather feedback; that's where the delimma comes in, so to blog about a certain matter or not to blog? Or just put some general viewpoints that will not offend anyone. In that case, then you are still keeping things to yourself. So what's my conclusion? Hiaz, I still have decided to keep things either in another blog where u can't find me Hahaa! Or I just write in my very own diary.
Only the 4th day to the New Year, how come I have so much to complain? You bet I have. And I have been keeping so much stuff that I think I am going to expode if I dun complain. Hahaz...But what if the person I am complaining about reads this blog and knows I am referring to him or her? What if another person reads the blog but thinks that I am referring to him or her when in fact I am actually referring to someone else? Then we would have made enemies out of just words. When the initial intention is not to annoy or make enemies out of anyone but just simply an outlet for me to vent my viewpoints.
Ok, you are going to say, Moonkate, aren't you being hypocritical if you don't tell a person upfront what you think a person should change? My answer to that would be, well, come on, you want to be an unintentional Bad Guy out of nothing? Everyone has his or her flaws and good points. But not everyone can take the truth with a pinch of salt. There are many types of people out there...
1) some who ignore you once you are not able to help them achieve their goals, or fall in line with their plans; in what kind of meaning, you go decipher...I already said I can't annoy anyone so I am not going to elaborate further...
2) some who pretend to be nice when they want something from you, then perform the disappearing act for months, until they want something from you again, then they'll contact you
3) some with really thin skin, who can't lose anything and everything must fall in line with their plans, and if it doesn't then, you're not even friends anymore
4) some who on the other hand, have super thick skin and can't get the hint no matter how many times you hint, or how many times your friends have hinted, or rather, even blatantly spell it out in front of their face but alas, this sad group of people still resume in their own ways...
I feel sorry for the world...
5) some who don't spell things out clearly but are so nice you wonder what's their motive and what will happen if one day you don't fall in line with their plans, a scary bunch of people indeed...
Am I being pessimistic here? Not really...I read that Optimists live longer so I am trying to be be a nice optimistic girl and forget about my irritation after publishing this blog. Wahaha...

One more thing to add, msn has different definitions for many different people. To some, "Busy" may be "Still can disturb", to others, "Busy" may be "Stop clicking on my profile you irritating
fella!" so how do we differentiate them? Some may argue, if you don't want pple to talk to you, why do you let people see that you are "Away" or "Busy"? Might as well put "Offline" or "Invisible"?

Hiaz..the world is full of great people. I shall let these great people argue amongst themselves. As for me, I have vented my thoughts. Now its time to rest my tired little brain. And yes, the "Some" people above may or may not be referring to whichever you who is reading this blog. It's so general, it could mean anything, couldn't it? And I haven't offended anyone, have I? I hope not. Hmm.....
Ok then, going to rest my tired little brain. Kudos. Ciao.

Happy New Year!

2006-12-30T19:09:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's the New Year once again! Time for me to live well and move on to being another year older. Arggghh, sob sob. That means that I'll be hitting 25 soonz and my biological clock is ticking as the days go by. Hahahaz.....
Anyway, although I say that I don't bother, but I find turning 24 next year kinda old liao.....Hmmm.....is it ok to still like to watch cartoons and like soft toys? Hmm...Or exclaim, "EH, SO CUTE!" when I see a Hello Kitty I like? In my dictionary, I think no matter what age I turn, I'll probably still react the same way, but my ex-students better not be around, lest they think this teacher has gone kinda ga-ga....Hahaz
Maybe I shouldn't put the numbers in this blog, later everyone knows my age. But anyway, it's no secret to my pals mah....aiyoh eh...
Ok, stop complaining about turning old. I just hope that I have turned older and wiser and still not look older. YeaH!
Btw, other than that, what are the New Year Resolutions? Hmmm.....Renew California Fitness membership? Practice my guitar more often and join a more long-term guitar class? Have more sleep? Speaking of which, I have already slept for 10-12 hours for the past two days of this super-long four-day weekend! Hahaha! Yeah! Eyebags must go! No time to watach Death Note 2 gals, I have lotsa things to do this super long weekend..
Anyway, enough crap. Here's to a better year ahead! Cheers!
Moonz

Thoughts...

2006-11-27T05:03:00.000-08:00

Initially I wrote a whole long chunk for this entry but then I decided that some things we just prefer to write them in our own personal diary. Life has dished out a lot of challenges for me; in terms of losing a person's loved ones. I miss these people I've lost. But I also know that I must move on with life.
Sing's getting married. Yay! My darling sis is getting married finally. So happy for her. Cheers! And with Christmas and New Year coming in a month's life, we should all be less gloomy and look forward to the warmth and love irradiating from our friends and family, yah?
Okies then, welcome to Moonkate's complex matrix of feelings. She shall not bore you anymore with her lament. But rather tell you what's gonna be up and coming...haha:
1) Shopping, shopping and more shopping
2) Guitar lessons, yes she's decided to learn something new which she all along wanted to but never had the time. No more regrets gal!
3) Writing X'mas cards to her long lost friends
4) Celebrating friends' marriages
5) Waiting for her 2 month-old cough to get well so that she can be well enough for X'mas, why she get this cough? She also dunno. But anyhow, she's going to get well. Yeah!

Hmmm.....

2006-11-02T08:11:00.000-08:00

Well well, don't ask me why... I dunno why my flooble chatterbox hasn't been up and running..
But anyway, ages since I have been online, and crap in this blog once more......I just learn that with each passing day, we learn and we grow. That's life right?
Btw, yes I am supposed to have my own PC by now, who in the world would have known that the CPU crashed, so I have to get my own CPU. I already bought my own monitor plus keyboard plus mouse...then the 2nd hand CPU died an early death...and yes, I lost a lost of photos in the process...Sob sob...
Sometimes, crapping here is so much easier, I can't be bothered whether you wanna hear what I have to say but I am typing what I wanna say anyway...Hahahahz....
OKies, then........
Going to koonz..
Nitez everyone
Moon

Yadda yadda yadda

2006-10-10T04:13:00.000-07:00

Lalala...Since we are young, we should all go out and have some fun, shouldn't we? Have big goals and aims and see how far we can go and where we can stretch our limits. Other things can wait.
I'm tired. Whatever is in the past belongs to the past. Everything else comes from a new beginning, each and every day. Without history, nobody will ever grow old. Everything happens for a reason.
Ok lah, I am going to have my well-deserved rest and then revise my notes...=)
Heeheez...
Ciao..

B'day

2006-09-20T06:16:00.000-07:00

3 hours more and it's going to be my bday...wonder if I am crazy or what...I turn down invitations when I could have a pleasant evening instead of being here at my PC...But the thing is, I already celebtrated with different groups of people during my weekend and this coming weekend we are going to go all over convo photo-taking...so I'm tired, I just want to sleep well and look good for tomorrow when I report for work. No panda gal, Moon...
Speaking of which, just like to say thanks to my fellow colleagues who celebrated with me on Monday. The dinner and the cake..Really appreciate you guys taking time off to celebrate with me =) Heez...
And my uni pals, thanks for the thoughtful gift, you gals really know me well heez...specially got me Clinique stff cos u know I am rather sensitive...so touched! =)
And not to forget, my thru thick-and-thin buddies whom I met up on Sunday...Luv u gals always, didn't expect the cake at all...Hope u enjoyed the meal too =)
And thank you everyone who remembered my birthday heeheez...
Technically speaking, since I have already blown candles off 2 cakes, I have to face the fact that in 2 hours and 45 mins time, I will be 23...but I still refuse to be 23..Yet..
12 midnight then I will start telling people I'm 23...You know, 23 is like nearing 25...and 25 is like far from 21...I still want to be 18 or 21, haven't been fully prepared...Ok, enough crap...
23 then 23 loh..
Lalala...
Everybody's busy with work nowadays and our time is getting more and more precious.
So I really treasure the meet-ups once in a while...
Ah well.

Dining...

2006-09-15T22:35:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have been eating quite a bit recently. Tried quite a few Japanese restaurants etc...Plus this month going out ever so often, going to eat more hahaz...I never knew Secret Recipe don't accept reservations on weekends, anyhow, later going there with my uni pals...3 of us all working, wonder how everyone hass been. Fat or skinny? Tall or short? Any pimples? Wahahaz...
Yes, I haven't been online...Sleep has been very precious to me mah....Pig is like that one...If not next morning later need to take cab to work..and the cab fare is no joke okie... The cab fare is half of what I used to earn by working part-time during school holidays...ah well...
Yeah, took quite a number of convo pics. This vain pork here, actually signed up for an almost $1k package with album and frames...Heeeheez...And went all the way back to NTU to anyhow take photos...and also went to take lotsa lotsa photos on convo day itself...Finally graduated yeah!
Speaking of which, I kinds miss study life cos I miss Canteen A's food...and Can b too..hmmm.//.//one day maybe we just have a go back NTU makan trip hahaz...pple are weird man, eat so much buffet then miss my uni canteen's food hahaz...
Okie, tomorrow going to go all over and take convo pics again with my dear gal pals...since last year when sing and kewei graduated we already got say, then wait until months after mel and I graduate, still haven't got out asses off the couch to take photos...anyhow, tomorrow see how okie?
Okies, gtg...Got to run my own errands, etc...etc...did I mention my table is full of statements and mailers I haven't had time to clear? Welcome to working life hahaz

Huh? Flooble chatterbox, what happened?

2006-09-02T23:25:00.000-07:00

Either the website down or something...dunno what happened to my flooble chatterbox. See how, if it doesn't come out soonz, then I sign up for a new account. Anyway, as I was saying, Saturday 16 september wana take convo pics together, Sing, Mel and Kewei? Msg me see howz k?
Kind of occupied, so that's all for the blog hahaz...tadaz...

Food Poisoning Woes

2006-08-06T04:36:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have seen a doctor. Two in fact. Why I kena food poisoning? Cos right after convo, I happily went to have my favourite fried oyster and the next day I also happen to have Char Kuay Teow. Both stalls I eat before, and nothing happen. I guess it's fated, fated to get food poisoning, will get. So last Sunday was spent in bed the entire day, with on-off fever and Monday morning was spent lamenting if I should go to work cos I already took leave for Friday's convo. In the end, I went to work with diarrhoea for half a day, after which, dunno why after lunch, I was actually a ok...Then later Tuesday I was well. Wednesday was well also. Until Thursday a little tired and yes Friday, argghhh...severe diarrhoea, had to go in and out of the loo a few times and the shit was bad. Ok, I guess u have enough of my crude language for today huh? Heez...Dun mean to sound crude lah, can't help it, what's so civilised about food poisoning...Anyway, I saw another doctor on Friday and today's Sunday and I am keeping my fingers crossed.
The good thing that came out of it is that I lost about 1 kg to 2 kg (depending on what time I go stand on the weighing machine hahaz) and well, I haven't been this weight in months or is it years? Main thing is must maintain the weight after I get well... Hmmm...
Oh yah, Sing, congrats on passing your M8. Heez. I came online to type my report, better start doing it liao. Remember we said want to go around taking photos after graduation, must remember ah...
Waiting (many meanings to one word, up to the reader to decipher)...

Convocation

2006-07-24T08:01:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it's finally my convocation. Those who know me well, u know how hard and how much I went through to get this certificate. Ah well, what more can I say? Hiaz...But ah well, no matter how tough the going gets, the tough get going...= )
I a glad I finally graduated. I am working now, I have entered another phase in life, but the person who is me is still me. I still love my family and friends and people still like to play and joke with me. I guess the environment may change but the heart and mind does not change. I will be with u my buddies, always! Yeah!
And yes, those who are coming to take photo this Friday, got buffet for supporters of MSE, so make your way here! Hahaz...
Seeya then = )

Handphone Stolen

2006-07-18T07:10:00.000-07:00

Ok, here's the story:
I was out with my mom on Sunday. As u all know, I have this mini pouch attached to my sling bag for my mobile phone. And...and...I had my hands full with plastic bags to carry then, I passed by this coffee shop. It was kind of congested as the cleaners were pushing the trolleys with soiled crockery and I was blocked here and there. Then after that when I went to the supermarket, my mobile was missing and my pouch appeared to have been tampered with.
Ah well, last week hand injury non-stop. Then Sunday kena hp stolen. Had to pay extra $100 plur pay for my new handphone and also pay for new line. Sigh...Yes, I know I can don't change my mobile number but I figured I rather change it. Nevermind the $30 charge.
Ok then, I told myself I will sleep by 11 tonight. I miss my sleep and I dun want any eyebags.
Nitez teddy..nitez kitty...nitez snoppy...nitez to all my soft toys, my bolster, my pillow...yawnz...

Eye Bags? Oh No...

2006-07-14T18:14:00.000-07:00

Ok, I met my uni friend at Popular then she said I looked tired and got eye bags, so the vain pork me decided to go buy some eye masks...The next day, my colleague mentioned that I got eye bags already compared to when I first started...awww...shit...anyway, what the heck, I tried waking up late this morning but to no avail, I only managed to wake up at 7 plus...although I told myself that I wanna wake up at 11 plus...Arrgghhh.
Ok, no swearing and cursing, next weeks' convo dinner...I will just have to sleep more so that I dun look tired and at the most...put on doughs of makeup loh...Sigh..Anyway, anyway, anyway, I miss my friends...sob sob...miss all the stress and the fun times we had. Hiaz. Do I need to buy a dress or something for convocation dinner? Hmmm...a bit the last min hor? Later cannot find anything nice.
And yes, I dunno who the heck cursed me, I kena five injuries in a week. Injury 1) Volleyball bruises Injury 2) Scalded my fingers while taking hot water, Injury 3) Scalded again during lunchtime Injury 4) Dunno how I got this stupid cut on my hand Injury 5) Yes, I bumped my funny bone, and it's not funny...it hurts real bad..
Maybe you are going to say that it can only happen to me. Ah well, I dunno lah...Ok lah, next time then crap lah.
Ganbatte to the rest of you = )

Well well

2006-06-26T08:27:00.000-07:00

Ok, I have embarked on the next phase in life: Working Life
So far everything is going fine, of course there are expectations and workload but I am learning and coping. I guess I have become a stronger and hopefully more Mature individual? Hahaz, who says I can't act cute now and then..lalala..
Anyway, I learn that life's like that and that everyone has their own path to lead. Btw, my Chinese is hiaz...worse that last time. So long never really touch Chinese, come up with so many "Joke of the day" moment Hahaz...For example, hearing people's name wrongly. Hard to explain in English, next time meet up then tell you more. Hahaz...
Oh yah, my colleague said that I got tendency to put a Z behind my Hahas and my Heehees. So usually I tend to put Hahaz and Heeheez when chatting. Didn't really pay much attention to that until people spot it out heez.
Argghh, need to go loo......Say more when we catch up people. TaDa!

= )

2006-06-09T18:11:00.000-07:00

Hahaz, okay, I learnt how to juggle all the new things happening around me already. I guess I will stop lamenting on having no time. Hahaz, yes I will only get more and more preoccupied with work as the time goes by but I will learn how to adapt and have fun at the same time. At the most sleep less loh. Hahaz. = )
So many things I want to learn...I ant to either take up Scuba diving, go for Salsa dance classes, or join a fitness club or something...I dun want to stop exercising just because I am too busy. Pah Hambug! Hahaz...anyone game, let moi know yah!
Moonmoon

Too many words, too little space and time

2006-06-06T08:23:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have always been busy. And even more so these few weeks. Anyway, just an update. My results are out already. I did ok. By ok what do I mean? Hmmmm, comparative to my previous results, better. But I still got a lot more to say. How come I can sum up in a word "ok"? Cos once I start, it will be a long passage to read and I got other things to do right now.
After many weeks of pondering and anxiously waiting for results, yes, I decided on my career path already. Tell you more when we catch up = )
Funny that once some problems seem to solve, I dream back of my grandmother. Been trying to push everything to one side for some time now. But I guess, like what my friend said, it won't hit you immediately. It will hit you when reality sets in. Still remember I used to say when I graduate can take photo together...ok, enough of that...We must learn to let go. But it just comes at times, when I visit certain places then the memories start flooding in again. Ok, enough of that.
I have to get back to my stuff. Tda = )

Well, well...

2006-05-30T05:35:00.000-07:00

Ok, haven't been blogging for sometime cos I am either sick, busy running errands yadda yadda yadda. Busy with a lot of things at the same time that is too much to put in this short post. Anyway, the best way to contact me right now is through phone(sms) or email. I am hardly online nowadays.
Anyway, I do have a lot to comment on:
1) American Idol---whoo whoo...so fun! I especially liked the golden idol awards. SO funny! And the one with the fake and real Clay Aiken. Wow! I admire the Americans for their spontaneity and team spirit man! Whoo Hoo!
2) I think I saw my neighbour on TV...Some DJ I think...Dunno leh...You pple who listen to 93.3, what are the names of the DJs?
3) I wanna play batminton! Swim! Take up a social dance! Watch X-Men and Da Vinci code! Yes, I know Mel has Da Vinci coded. I want to watch too but I really got no time at the moment. Those who asked me when I am free, I am really sorry, not that I dun want to meet up, hate sports or what. Just that it is wrong timing, really. = ) Smile = )
Catch up and update everyone when we meet up some other time ok? = ) I miss everyone, I miss my ex-colleagues, my buddies...My "same-frequency" pals...

Ten things I will miss about NTU

2006-05-03T08:18:00.000-07:00

Ok, here's the list of things I will miss NTU for:
1) Canteen A Japanese food-not the current stall at can A now, the previous one whereby they keep winning the stall of the year award. Poor thing the uncle, lost his stall to hall 9 stall. But I think I will miss the present Japanese food stall(aka the hall 9 stall) as well, since I like the soft shell crab. But I think the soft shell crab tastes better at Hall 9. Maybe they have more time to swim over there so they taste better ahahahz,....ok crap....I think it is cos they fry everything and put down there wheras at Hall 9, you order then they prepare.
2) MLT lectures? Ok, who misses lectures? Actually think about it lah, common engine has its perks, can see people from your sec sch, your jc, say hi to this and that acquaintance can walk in late and get the whole 800 odd people staring at you. Hahaz...can comment and gossip about who goes out with who, can gossip about the "touchy-feely" couples, the "outstanding" dress sense award etc..and most importantly, the seats at MLT are better than those at LT 1A, 2A, 19A or the smaller LTs.
3) My favourite study areas: my secret tutorial room, seminar room, benches, library, fyp room, canteens, lecture theatres, media resource library. I guess I did utilise NTU factilities well enough after reading the whole line hahaz. I will remember the freak who posted the "Bian Tai" note at our tutorial room after we came back from dinner, the people who camped in school, mugging under the freezing air-con etc...
4) MEPC. I miss our all-girl group mentality. Despite having never done technical work before, we went all out to build a catapult from scratch. I will remember us filling the wooden gears, remaking the gears when it broke the first time, us shopping for the bicycle rope, us building a rapport with everyone else in MSE, sharing the large pizza. Us spray painting the catapult a girl power PINK and PURPLE hahahz. Those were the days.
5) What else, well NTU has so much memories for me. I will remember my FYP the most, from choosing FYP project to carrying out the project and to hold that precious crisp report in my hands. But it hasn't really ended, since I still have to prepare my presentation. More on that later.
6) I must really thank NTU for giving us the Industrial Attachment Opportunity. It is something that we cannot experience from books. And also must really thank my IA company, especially the people there, it was great being given som mush opportunity to grow and learn and not treated like an ignorant kid. Attachment period was a good break from studying all the way and also makes us more motivated to study when we return for the following semester. And when we met up during our IA, it was not at JP, finally. Phew! Finally can meet up elsewhere apart from JP.
7) Can I say I think I will miss JP? Actually I am kind of sick of the place but yet it is still a great place to hang out since it is so near Campus. I will always remember us eating at Pizza Hut whenever we had a chance. The buffet, why now no more buffet, must be they lost money from having buffet. The lunch express sets etc. Anyway, who said that you will only have a life if you live in hall huh? Not true what...
8) Impressario, MSE day when we have free goodie bag and buffet lunch, Yoga and many other events. Need I say more?
9) So many things I want to blog about NTU man. My GE classes, the great friends I met and made these few years. The people who were there for me when I was down and about. Thanks for hearing me out when I was really stressed. Also thanks to my dear friends from NUS for being there. Speaking of which, I will miss the times we had bazaar at NUS and elsewhere, it was hard to juggle but I don't regret it "cos it was a great experience. And I believe the minor spats only make our ties stronger.
10) Actually I have more than 10 things, so many things how to sum up in one blog? Anyway those of you who are reading this, remember to keep in touch even after graduation k? Take Care!

hahaha

2006-05-03T08:03:00.000-07:00

Ok, typical moonie moment today...I passed by my neighbour's house and was so shocked to suddenly hear a dog bark at me that I screamed at the top of my lungs. Yes, in the end I realised it was a small dog somemore...So paiseh...Somemore the gate locked the dog also cannot come out. Arrgghhh, my neighbours can recognise my voice liao diaoz!
Past few days also got watch the election war, amused and sianz that I got no chance to vote, so hard to be of eligible age to vote then walkover hiaz...Anyway it means another holiday and more time to prepare for my presentation = )
I really need to change the background to my blog man. This present one is good cos I like the animation and the music but I want to be able to add photos etc. Since we are all going to work, we will have less time to catch up etc, so better update my blog with more fun and happenings yah? But I know lah, say is say, whether free to do is another thing. As they say, working life is so much more different from studying life.
Just now went to try out presenting in the tutorial room. Realised I took things for granted, never personally learn how to plug in laptop for presentation cos always got people do for us already. Anyway, must thank Sing for lending me her lappie, I know you are feeling handicapped, so sorry. Anyway, I got a bit scared seeing the blown up pic of you and chow on the projection screen. So huge, so scary hahahaz...
Ok, enough rubbish for now. Miss all my dear friends, seems like MSE won't be having any prom unlike MAE or EEE. But anyway our fac a bit small to book the hall I guess.
Like the vitamin C song, I'll miss everyone, the good, the bad, the memories. Seems like only yesterday when I was looking for the Getin-Jones Medical Centre for my medical checkup, those days at MLT having mass lecture. Ok, let me write all the things I will miss about NTU in another blog. Kudos!

Phase Transitions

2006-04-29T01:00:00.000-07:00

Well, printer down, the feeder keeps eating my paper..but anyway since printer down I got no choice but to be stuck in library now printing my report to be submitted to the general office after presentation...well well...
Phase transitions...
1) I realised what true friends are and that sometimes when we are so confident and so sure that we know a person well enough, it is only then that you see the uglier side of them. I don't say I am a very good person but at least I don't lie to my friends and I always share, so sometimes I really don't understand why some people can be so selfish and arrogant. But I guess like what my grandma used to say, "One rice grain feeds many types of people" we have to take them as it comes...
2) Survival of the fittest. I used to be a blur blur innocent chap who always think that everyone is good, never face reality that in this world, there is the black, the white and a large proportion of grey. I wake up a lot these years...Thanks to a lot of different circumstances, the people I meet and the things I learn. It is bad to harbour any hatred and I will make sure that I will not hate anyone or anything no matter what they have done. I am still a person who forgives but never forgets but I don't wish to dislike anyone or anything, 'cos it takes a lot of distress to hate.
3) Dreams, yes I have a lot of them. I have always had a lot of aspirations since young and I will work towards my goals.
4) Relationships. I seriously think that attraction alone is not enough, and I am a realist, it takes more than just similarities and likes to keep a relationship going. To my darling ex-students, don't ever rush into a relationship. Take time to know the person well enough, don't fall for a person out of pity or desperation cos ten or twenty years down the road, I believe you will look back and realise that you regretted it, totally. Rejection is part and parcel of life, I believe that whether it turns out the way you want it or not, the friendship can still remain.
5) Love. Some ties are there whether you like it or not. I will always treasure the moments I had with my loved ones, although some of them have already passed on. Not pulling a black face and crying anymore doesn't mean I don't miss my granny. I have learnt to let go. That's life right? Everyone has to die one day and what is left of them will just be memories. Some things happen jst when you least expected it and I have learnt to really treasure those I love and focus more time and effort to look after and not make them worry.
Who will I be, in five years or even ten years down the road, nobody knows. Right now I am just an undergraduate who is trying to print her final copies of her FYP and getting geared up for the final presentation before graduation, but the ties that bind, my family and friends will always remain close to me.

Mugging

2006-04-10T01:12:00.000-07:00

Hihi, just drop a message to all those having exmas, jiayou! I have decided not to worry so much (although I know I still will worry at the back of my mind, some bad habit I gotta kick hahaha) and focus on my exams yay!
What have I been doing to destress? I went swimming, went Kbox (only a while lah)on Saturday. Well, no more karaoke to destress...at the most exercise cos time is running short. Let's all piah together!
And I will not snooze in the afternoon no matter how sleepy the weather seems. Study! Wake up! Haha. Jiayou everyone!

2 weeks to study

2006-04-05T21:33:00.000-07:00

Yay, finally handed up my FYP and lessons have ended. Now can focus on exams. Yay! Strange, first thing was to fall sick before my test. But fortunately, it wasn't too bad and I could still study. Now must plan my time. So fast, after this exam and FYP presentation, we can graduate! Yay!
It also means that I am getting older liao...Sigh...
Older and wiser? Hmm...I just don't want to look like Auntie..nono...like yesterday met my ex-student on the bus, feel like Auntie cos I was holding on to a vacuum cleaner...so much for running errands hahahaz...
Ok, enough crapping, mug mug mug

WHoa

2006-03-31T23:37:00.000-08:00

Yay! I have assignment, FYP report and quiz. How wonderful! Going to be sleep-deprived as well as having lots of challenges on time and attitude management. Yay! Ok, as usual I am full of crap ands I get crappier when I am stressed. Hahaaz...
WHoa! How fun! ok, enough crapping, leave you with these lyrics from one of my favourite songs ever:

You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up... To more than I can be.

Source: http://www.azlyrics.com/g/groban.html

Life

2006-03-27T22:00:00.000-08:00

I am in the why are we here for? Why are we who we are for kind of mood again. This question, I know different religions will have their different explanations and I don't wish to turn this into a religious blog, so well, let's not swell on the topic.
All I know is, there are many things I want done in this short a life and life is short. Nobody really knows when we will go. I want to be able to say, one day, when I am old, that I have lived my life without regrets and in the way I could best live it.
Everyone jiayou ok? And Mel, thanks for the card. Really sweet of you. Really made my day. = )
Back to FYP report.

No Procrastination

2006-03-26T20:36:00.000-08:00

It is very easy to start chatting or something once we turn on msn...Sometimes I rather put on Appear Offline mode Heez...But anyway, sometimes I dun mind pple bugging me even when I am doing something else cos it helps keep me awake. Sometimes, messenger is the only thing that connects my dear friends and I cos we simply have no time to catch up.
That aside, I won Underworld Evolution poster but I got no time to collect. Who wants just give me a buzz...You can go collect it and keep it. Even if the poster's damn nice, I'm serious...= )
And I realised that I can watch this particular Korean show again and again and again. I forgot the title, they are replaying it on Channel 8. Even though I know the entire story, I still think the "Qiyuan" and the Choi Ji Woo and a very compatible couple, ok, I was studying and taking a break lah...not really watching TV...Dun make me feel guilty...p
Feeling a bit tired cos just had QC quiz.
Ok lah, better settle my FYP report..back to my FYP report...

Knees acting up again

2006-03-25T10:46:00.000-08:00

I almost forgot that I had this knee problem. Went to gym just now to destress, great workout man...Then dunno why the pain in the knees came back when I was busy doing my 462 assignment under air-conditioned environment. Sigh...I thought I no longer have the problem already? Hmmm...maybe old age bah..Hahaz...
Pain especially when I walk...ouch...maybe shouldn't hit the gym haha...
Oh yah, as I was saying, those of you reading this blog, who's interested in reforming the batminton gang we had in sec sch? I miss those days man, almost everyweek we go to different places to play and take turns to book the courts. I was thinking it is a good way to destress from working life and doing something we like right? But maybe make it like a must have kind of thing, so whoever can make it that day will split the cost of the court booking fee...All these after exams lah, but just a thought. Then can set up a yahoo group for the batminton people or something then can discuss next game when.
Yah, got game, my knees will be okay liao hahaz...
And very long never bowl liao...
What am I doing up at 3 am blogging on batminton? No lah, doing assignment and FYP results (edited). Am I going to sleep? Well, with so many others also awake biahing, and with my favourite caffine treat, no problem! = ) Heez
I know we are not supposed to let horoscopes determine our lives but I was reading mine today and it really reflects what I am going through today:
"You seem to be filled with questions, dear Virgo. Some of them are big, some trivial. All you know is that you are completely preoccupied with them and the answers are not readily forthcoming. Don't fret. All that will change by the end of the day. The planetary configurations are such that all the confusing events of recent days suddenly begin to make sense. Your world will once again seem calm and orderly. Enjoy it!"
I suddenly feel this kind of peace right now as I am doing my report. I woke up with a lot of questions but now I suddenly feel this inner peace within me. Hmm......Maybe it is the gym workout, maybe because I learn how things make sense of somethings or ignore those that don't make sense. Well, well...
True ah, why do I bother about trivial issues right? I must know what is trivial and what isn't what...Ok, this blog is full of broken english haa...
The me today is weird, mood swing 180 degrees hmmm...
Ok then, I shall end with the lyrics of this song:
The sun does rise (by the Cranberries)

Nightime has when all was still
Moon shone the way as we climbed the hill
When we arrived we raised our hands
Now the down has come now we understand

The sun does rise in the eastern sky
And love soon comes watch over I

The road was long yes we travelled far
Thought long dark nights without guiding star
Visions of an angel came along the way
Told us "don't be fearful for there comes a brighter day "

The journey's been an epic
Sometimes I've been so down
Stranded in a lonely bar the other side of town
Yes we've travalled day and night for many a poor mile
Now it all makes sense as we see the morning smile.

Ok, 3.15 am
Better sleep if not become insomniac.

What I Want to be

2006-03-24T23:46:00.000-08:00

What do I really Want to be in a single quote:

Abraham Lincoln:

"Whatever you are, be a good one."

Burnt Out

2006-03-21T06:25:00.000-08:00

Fine, I admit I think I am getting burnt out. Have been feeling the signs sign months ago but this time no way am I going to let the stress get to me. I will focus and survive. Sometimes, not everyone will understand why I am behaving this way. Why? It is simply because I am lost myself and finding a way out. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
I expect life to get even tougher as we grow up further, but at least at the end of the day, I know I will never hurt the people I love. = )

Re: Work

2006-03-19T20:56:00.000-08:00

Well, with the recruitment talks and career fairs around, it is time to settle and see what I want in life. Although still recovering from the loss of a loved one, nevertheless, life has to go on...
So much has happened and I do know what I want ultimately in a job is what. Money is important but it is not the ultimate. I want somewhere I will be happy working in. No point in a job whereby you have to drag your feet to work everyday. I want a job that I can grow and learn and maximise my potential. I am not a must be 9 to 5 person, so working hours are usually not the issue here...I am a sort of workaholic. At the end of the day, as long as it is something I feel a sense of fufilment and I am happy in it, I will stay on in the job happily.
And the search continues...= )

Stay Positive

2006-03-16T15:53:00.000-08:00

Ok then, must get the optimist out of me. Anyway, crying is bad for the eyes, and will end up looking like a puffer fish. And it doesn't solve anything. Although sometimes we just can't help it. Anyway, I am getting my focus back. Today later got presentation and I gotta prepare for it. I just tell myself that everyone has to die oneday, it is only sooner or later.
On a super positive note, eh... I got tons of work to catch up with and gotta finalise my FYP report asap. And not to mention assignment due. It's a really really busy and eventful sem. Like all other sems. Everything that we undergo is for us to learn from and gain experience. I am a people person who dislikes awkwardness but somethings are really not within my control so I keep telling myself it's nobody's fault.
Okay then, for the time being, don't remind me too much of unhappiness. I really got to get things moving. Like the Madagascar song, "I like to move it move it, you like to move it move it, we like to move it, move it!" Okay, where got people link to some animation cartoon one...ah well...

Grief

2006-03-10T08:35:00.000-08:00

Title of today's blog: Grief
I know I will never forget my grandma's death aniversary cos it was the day my FYP report'd date was due. What can I say? Hmmm...Although her death was somehow anticipated, I do feel the emptiness inside, especially when I pass by anything to do with her. Why couldn't she wait till she see me graduate? But I tell myself, at least she no longer needs to suffer.
I know I will forever miss my grandmother and she will always be a part of me, a part of my memory. There are so many things I wanted to achieve and let her see, but ah well...
Hmmm...The pain of losing someone you love, and you know will never see again. Ok, I must be strong = ) Life and death comes to all, it is only sooner or later. Tomorrow's 2nd day of wake. Ganbatte = )

2006-03-08T05:53:00.000-08:00

Ok dears, here's what happened...My granma is now warded at Tan Tock Seng and put on a drip. At first, when I went to see her on Monday she looked better than when I saw her at the nursing home. But she got worse when I saw her yesterday, her fever came back again. Not the first time I see someone being put on a drip, but this time this one is different, the time is running out. How long, nobody knows. Yah, I know, have to learn how to accept life and death as part and parcel of life. But everything came so unexpectedly in a matter of weeks. Everytime I see my grandmother, the feeling is different. Cos each time she gets weaker and thinner. I wonder what she has done to deserve this. She's those kind of sweet grandma who never hurts others. I really wonder.
My auntie asked me to prepare her photo. I got a shock. My immedate reaction was, for "that" kind of photo ah? Fortunately, it was meant for prayers, not for that kind...
And I actually fell sick cos I have been slogging hard to finish my FYP report and juggling with stuffs. Yah, I took the medication, was prepared to go uni, then fell asleep with my contacts on. All the way till 1 plus. Luckily, my mom asked me to remove them in the midst of my sleep.
Other matters? I am trying not to think so much and focusing on my report. Flashbacks of a lot of matters do come back now and then...whatever...Block. Block. Block.
What do I learn? Seriously, the most important things in life are the two Hs: Health and Happiness. Health people always say that should eat healthy food and exercise. Well, actually, I think happiness plays a part in it too. Too much worry can also cause immune system to break down.
Aiyah, now too stressed to think properly. ArrgghhhH!!! Feel like going to the end of the field and scream it out loud! Yeah! Actually blogging here helps as well hahaz...Ok, next week then worry about weight. This week I have enough stress, I dunno what next week is there for me, but I will overcome. So this entry here shall be my reminder: Anything happens, you have to overcome. At the most you take a day off and cry or relax. But you must your priorities in front okie? See lah, talkng to myself already...the effect of typing FYP report Hahaz...
Oh yah, the rest of you people, enjoy yourself and live life to the fullest! Cos I can't do a lot of things I want to do right now so while you still can, go ahead and like the Nike Slogan: Just Do It!

Life

2006-03-05T17:33:00.000-08:00

Life...We learn with each and every passing day, this life that we have...Instead it is so precious. I know anything might happen anytime but I will pull through...I will not think about it but somehow I will and have to prepare myself mentally.
I also learn that true friends are those that wil stand by you come what may, and I appreciate the support from my dear friends. Sometimes, it can be so hard to see your loved one suffer but we must always look on the positive side yah?
I pray, I hope that all will be fine...= )

Troubled Waters

2006-03-04T09:47:00.000-08:00

A day of worry is more exhausting than a year of work; how true that is...Hope all goes well = )

Troubled Waters

2006-03-03T18:41:00.000-08:00

Ok, my granny...Yesterday went to see her, she got fever; her hands were shivering and swollen...It has been hard on me for quite some time already, I know I have to pull through...Some things in life I have lost perspective already but I am forever positive, isn't it? I will survive...Come what may. Give me some moral suport yah?
Ok, why is the emotional side of me popping up ever so often recently? I thought I already said that I should take it easy? Hiaz...Sometimes loving can be so hard...It can be so brittle when you learn how precious life is...Just now watched this cartoon, the cartoon said there's no need to cry cos there is no point in crying. But it's a different thing when you see someone dear to you getting weaker everyday and when you see or hear such stories from other people..When you are in it, it is a different thing, totally different...
Optimistic gal, don't give up = ) I know I won't but it still hurts inside.

Hiaz...

2006-03-01T04:56:00.000-08:00

Ok, I know I am supposed to think of report and school stuff...but why is this other matter still polluting my mind and why do I keep having nightmares? Is it better to let go then and be free? I seriously have no idea...I'm lost on this one...hiaz, why does it always have to be just before my final exams...Like it was when I was in JC?
I'm seriously very lost and confused...and I try to let it go and not think about it, but I get all sorts of weird nightmares...so scary...
Argghhh....Madame Monseuir (forgot how to spell lah...) wake up your idea and focus on more important stuff can? Argghhh....
I hate myself sometimes...

Mumble mumble mumble

2006-02-27T23:14:00.000-08:00

Ok, 2 quizzes done...now's it's FYP time! Biahing...

Nostalgia

2006-02-23T10:23:00.000-08:00

Maybe it's the FYP but I am just feeling a bit of Nostalgia over school and stuff and I just uploaded some new "old" photos on friendster...And looking at the faces last time and now, seems like I have really grown up man...starting to have the 20 plus look already...Oh dear...and hairstyle, hair colour etc also changed...I seem to have lost some of my baby fat...
And rats, I lost weight last week only to put it back on again...Oh dear...THis week I have been having such irregular timings for meals that I keep eatings before I sleep, hence I put on weight...Ok, must have good eating habits...I want to get back last week's weight...But where got time go exercise? So many things to do. Tmr still must be in sch by 8 plus for FYP. Jiayou man. Gals, I think we probably need to after my exams then can meet up and have fun le...
I wanted to changed hairstyle and dye some "Heong" colour like highlight blue but never got the chance to do it. Well, anyway not intending to liao loh, since I dun wanna spoil my hair.
Ok, I know I am supposed to sleep early, so I will. I just go onto this PC to backup my FYP stuff, then I went to cheack emails, upload photos and got stuck at this com for a few hours...Ok, better sleep early. This week I am rather suay, I haven't use the maching, the machines keep giving me problems. Keeping my fingers crossed. And yea, next week still got 2 quizzes and I am trying to finish my FYP data...arrggghhh...so stressed....
Goodnight!

Stressed

2006-02-21T23:56:00.000-08:00

Ok, I made some decisions that I tell myself I will not regret and not let myself regret. Whatever happens in the future no one knows but at least, right now, at this point in time, this is what I can cope with and what I want.
Just live life to the fullest!
Ok back to reality...I am now in computer lab trying to find some readings for my FYP when this stupid printer, dunno what the pple are printing...I can't print my readings! I need to analyse my FYP data leh......Oi...
This week I will noe be aving much fun cos I really got too many things to do. We even thought of mtg only after exams hor Mel? Although I still miss you gurls...
Ok, then...Back to work...

One Week Break?

2006-02-17T01:31:00.000-08:00

This is going ot be my final one-week break before I graduate. What feelings do I have? Well, firstly, I hve been studying forthe past 19 years of my life. Secondly, I am feeling a mix of nostalgia and can't wait to graduate soon. Like the vitamin C song...I will miss everything and everyone...The good and the bad cos that's what makes us grow up.
Ok then, go back lab. Today I forgot my handphone so I have been in the ice-age era for the past 8 hours and surviving = )

Damn pissed

2006-02-13T04:54:00.000-08:00

Today's horoscope:"This is a good day to stand up for yourself and make it known that you are not a pushover, dear Virgo. Use the powerful energy of the day to follow through on projects that may have lost momentum. Pick up the reins and take control of the direction of your life. Feel free to be more aggressive than you normally would. Show others your incredible worth."
Ok, so many things have happened recenly, I feel like I am falling into a trap. I am trying to get out of it by letting everything go. I don't care anymore. I don't want to care. I don't want to bother what people think and how people actually feel. I rather find friends who will appreciate me for who I am rather than keep making comparisons with their other friends. I seriously don't think some people understand what is going on and I am too sick and tired to explain things. Letting things go is better. I don't have to bother. I don't have to try to change others. I can stop worrying so much and focus on more crucial stuff.
Ok then, that's my entry for today. I don't know who is going to read it, but I am pretty sure the intended people won't read. So whatever hahaz...

8 Feb 06

2006-02-07T22:59:00.000-08:00

My horoscope says:
"Matters involving creativity, romance, and children could require some considerable thought today, dear Virgo. Some exciting new options may be available to you and your loved ones, and you might be inclined to mull over the possibilities. You might consult others to get a second opinion. For the most part, you'll want to decide on your own what's best at this time. In the meantime, you could keep yourself occupied by working on ongoing projects."
Nothing can be further from the truth...I was having tutorial and I got 2 missed calls and smses from 3 different events in my life right now. So stressed, until I am now so sian, hiding at CITS trying to send email before I finally go piah my Friday's quiz. I sorta studied but haven't really completed.
Ok, then, do work = )

Hmmm.....

2006-02-02T01:19:00.000-08:00

Hi there!
So busy this Chinese New Year, I keep going out visting, visiting, visiting...Sure got a lot of Angpows but my parents also gave out a lot as well = )
Anyway, so many things happened. I don't know what to say but I don't know the way some things will turn out. So I feel kind of pressured when I am expected to give an answer to them. Argghhh...ok lah, I will just let things be and see how...
So irritating, my tuition kid changed tuition again. argghh.... Now wasting time in library surfing before I go and continue my work.

Fully Loaded

2006-01-26T01:00:00.000-08:00

I'm now like a machine gun that's fully loaded...Yes, I feel kinda bad, kinda mean, kinda sad sometimes but somethings we just have to take it as it is = )
I said no regrets liao...no regrets girl, no regrets, stop harping on it...
Ok back to today's blog...I am trying to get a sample resume out. This week's been really busy as CNY is around the corner and there's lots of shopping and helping around the house to do. Not to mention I am still at my FYP, and I had to switch classes here and there to fit everything. Just now, I was like a zombie walking aound, surviving on 5 hours of sleep. Now I just ended yoga and my eyes are drier than ever. Oh man, later still got tuition. Ok, this is a sure way to try to lose weight, but how come I put on weight instead? The prawn rolls for CNY hahaaz....see lah, me the greedy pig.
Ok, I better do my work, I can go on and on and carry on typing but this blog is a way to vent out my thoughts, it can never help me do my work. Duh.
Cheers! Jiayou( Actually, I dun really wanna add oil to myself, I am already sorta oily and sticky after walking around uni) = ) Heez...
Ganbatte...

Moody

2006-01-23T03:10:00.000-08:00

Alright, I don't know if I am ever going to regret my decision but I guess I must stick to what I think. It's getting draining that people keep asking me questions that I will not know the answer to cos it is still too early to tell. Hardly slept the last night cos I keep pondering upon what I want in life. I know what my goals and ambitions are and I do not want to look back and regret my life just because I make a mistake of not being able to cope.
I will not go into anything I don't feel sure of. There are so many buring questions that cannot just be answered by words, but rather by time and actions. Ponder ponder ponder, I don't like thinking so much and so far...but the more I look, the blurrer it becomes. That's when I decided to give it up. I am sorry to be such a realist. But I tell myself that I will have no regrets and I must stick with it. There are more important things in life, aren't there? But once you make a wrong move on a straight road with no U-turn, you end up in the sea. And I don't want that to happen.
Today's resolution: No more such thoughts from now on and focus on what needs to be attended to urgently.

Hello World

2006-01-21T01:22:00.000-08:00

These were the first words from Computing classes I learnt to program. It's been a long road since then and I realised how much I have grown up. Later meeting my darling girl pals, especially my dear friend who just came back from overseas not too long ago. How much I miss those days when we were young and had no worries man.
Now waiting for the printer to finish printing my slidesAt the back of my mind there's FYP, work to catch up etc etc...And I can't wait to take photos later Heeeheezz....My dream cam...here I come...
Still printing sianz...
Wah 55 pages of colour...
So tired, these few days raining here and there, damn good to sleep...
Ok, no "damn" words...No "shit" words and no "kns" words anymore from this line onwards...
Yawnz...so sleepy supposed to catch up with some other pals today but I too busy sigh...
Ok, enough crapping just to fill the blog haha, wasting the CMOS, NMOS transmissions man...

Crossroads

2006-01-19T01:52:00.000-08:00

Hi there! Ok, I am at my point of exhaustion already cos I ran from my hse all the way to mrt then to 179 stand this morning only for the stupid bus to close it's door. Not to mention I haven't exercised in ages. How did I manage to lose weight? I think I managed to maintain this weight cos I have been so busy doing a lot of stuff other than exercising.
Ah well, enough about weight. I am now trying to entertain myself in the library. Attended career talk this week and have been to all the Career Hub's classes already. So what's my problem now? The problem now is that I don't know if I want to be an engineer. I like studying, knowing...basically I love knowledge and I thrive on it. I like to know how things work etc etc...Engineering work has many types, there are so many different types of engineers and different work out there. But I am also interested to broaden my horizon and gain exposure not just in engineering but in other areas as well. And personally, I think I can't stand staying silent for too long, haha...But then again I like to discover and learn. What do I want? I want something that is well, challenging, something I can learn and open up to. It does not necessary have to be in my field of study I guess...well, the road to self-discovery and job discovery continues = )
Hmmm.....
Ok, this week is so freakingly packed. Everyone is so stressed not because of work but more because of FYP. Mine is at the still there stage, just went to zap a few more references and read through until now so sian, come to PC to entertain myself hahaahaz..
Shit I keep yawning, later how to go for tuition? Wah, 6 pm already, better get moving and stop crapping. Yawnz, caffeine here I come = )

Ah well

2006-01-15T19:47:00.000-08:00

Anyway, I am over the mood today liao. I am not saying we don't have the right to make our own choices, but more of like since birth we are this type of people so most probably we will end up as this type of adult. And it depends on the environment we got through as well, nvm...I am over the "Who am I" thingy. Now more interested in the amount I spent shopping.
Okie, these few days got G2000, Zara, Esprit, Mango, Topshop etc etc...so been shopping a lot hahaz...especially for CNY clothes and workwear.
Can't wait to meet u gals up heeheez...

What do I want?

2006-01-12T18:46:00.000-08:00

Ever reach a stage whereby you wonder why you are called so and so. Why you are supposed to be so and so and why you are doing this and that. I have reached many such instances so many times in my life. Sometimes it just hits you when you least expect it and suddenly you go, eh my name is "ABC" ah? Why am I this particular person and what is there that I have to do?
Yes we all have our goals, our beliefs and religion. I am not exactly referring to that...ah well...nvm if you think I am incomprehensible, that's who I am sometimes I guess. It's like we are living in the identity of who we are, but who are we actually? I mean, I know we are humans, we are supposed to do this, this and that...I am not really referring to the raw facts, but more of the inner you. Everyday we engage in impression management, we try to present ourselves in a way we are supposed to be. But is there really a supposed behaviour for human beings? I mean, how some all animals know how to eat, sleep, move etc? It's like everything has been preprogrammed already.
In case you still don't understand, it doesn't matter cos I expected it. People always say I think too much...Hmm.....It's like every path we chose is somehow pre-programmed, it's like animals are supposed to grow up, produce the next generation, look after them and grow old. We are all here to experience life. Hmmm...
It's called the "Who am I?" thing. Ah well...
On a lighter note, yesss, I finally got the Anna Sui mascara I wanted. It better work haha, I want the long curled up eyelash thing yeah!
So glad my sec sch mates met up, I miss ya all man. I realised how much my mentality has changed over the years and how childish I was in sec sch heeheez. And my long-time friend Chen, I think we kinda grew up along the same thinking instead of drifting to opposite ends, someday we should go backpacking huh?
Ok then, back to my identity called "Moon".

FYP mode

2006-01-03T06:24:00.000-08:00

Hi,
been stressed over my inconsistent results. Just now so blur, actually burnt my finger cos I dropped the tweezer and forgot that the pan was hot. Aiyah, stupid girl.
Sigh...
And seriously speaking, we didn't have any holidays at all, did we...
Anyway, me two fingers bandaged with a friend saying she wanna burst my blister. So bad...Hahaha...
What else? Hmm, I got to get busy with analysis liao loh.
Seeya = )

Reminiscences of 2005 and Hi to 2006

2005-12-30T07:05:00.000-08:00

Hi there!

Seriously I don't think anyone is going to read this, like real...Hmmm...ok I shall blog my thoughts to date.

My moto is that everyone has to take responsibility for themselves and I feel that if you want to do something, we should put in our best effort in it. That's the principle I live by and I always tell myself to try my best not to have any regrets in life.

So in this new coming year, what are my New Year resolutions?

Ah well...
1) To be happy and that everyone around me is happy too
2) Spend more time with those I treasure
3) Health is Wealth
4) Despite 3), I still wanna lose weight because I still look fat in photos
5) Career
6) Goals and aims
7) Independently support myself fully in a few month's time
8) Ok, I am rather stressed right now because I am trying real hard to analyse my data for FYP but I will not slack, I will push hard for it
9) Exercise, yes exercise more, have been slacking quite a bit in uni in this area.
10) Improve my sense of direction, haha

I am glad for all the friends that I have and keep in touch although we are all going to graduate soon.

Actually a bit scared of 2006 because it means we are going to graduate soon and I am a year older already. Ah well. The older you get, the more responsibilities you have and the more your ideas and expectations change. It has been a year of a lot of learning for example during attachment etc..and I miss my attachment time = ) Have been saying that umpteen times last semester.

Tomorrow's the 31st already. I don't know what 2006 entails but I will still live by my moto: To do my best in whatever I do.

moonkate

FYP

2005-12-29T01:49:00.000-08:00

Alright, Mel says I have been complaining about FYP and stress for the past few months. It's normal mah, in NTU everyone is stressed over FYP. Hahaz...
Ok lah, whatever lah...I aim to finish at least half my analysis tonight (hopefully). Actually now kind of tired liao from reading almost the entire day. Glad to meet Mel today, first time u come NTU! And yah, so long never eat with Angeline already.
Ok loh, me going home.
Tada

2005-12-25T00:33:00.000-08:00

There's this personality test from Tickle so I did it for fun:

What's Your True Color?
moonkate, your true color is Black!

Your color is black. The color of night. Serene and mysterious, black conjures up images of elegant evening gowns, dashing tuxedos, and gleaming limousines. Traditionally a symbol of success, black also represents power and an uncompromising demand for perfection. Not surprisingly, you tend to set challenging goals for yourself and do whatever it takes to achieve them — your strength of character is second to none. This unfaltering determination, along with your natural elegance, impresses people. But keep in mind that your personality might be intimidating to some. Try to temper your demanding side with a little softness — trust us, it won't kill you. Overall, though, black is the color of professionalism and achievement, which means it's clearly the color for you.

Hmm, how true it is? Up to you to judge.

Cheers,
Merry Xmas!

moonkate

Yawnz

2005-12-15T00:37:00.000-08:00

Haha, seems like more busy will end up on msn or blogging while waiting for the machinges. Anyway, today got Mango sale, why am I sitting here...Ah well, most important thing now is more FYP, the other things can wait.
Think the lab is super cold man, keep feeling sleepy, or maybe it is just me getting up at 7 for the past few days or rather weeks hmm.....
Ok, then catcha later

Stupid Me

2005-12-12T19:56:00.000-08:00

Arrggghh, this is the second time liao. Yesterday I forgot to turn on the cooler. Today I didn't know the cooler gotta set to manual mode. So I wasted two mornings in one row already. Oh man, this precious sleep time. Sobs...
Ok, we learn from our mistakes yah...dunno must ask dunno must ask, even if very paiseh oranything also have to ask. Stupid me lah, can't believe it...This holidays are kinda stressed man, until I stay in lab I rather surf web for now since I just realised I have been damn stupid. Haven't even taken any foodsince I woke up, hungry is the word..
Haha...

Sigh embarrassing

2005-12-06T06:15:00.000-08:00

Ok, embarrassing...I sent an email to like a load of people with the date correct and the day wrong...arrggghhh....Seems like when you are saturated, you should not try too hard, duh..ah well..
Lots of things keeping me busy this month, so many things still haven't do yet..it's the spring cleaning month..well, some things come first...heeheez...Ok, I have been sitting on my lit review for ages...time to continue with it

December

2005-12-04T07:09:00.000-08:00

Hi people, a few announcements to make:
1) Kindly message me or leave a voice message if I can't come to the phone lah, I dun subscribe to these services for free one leh...I think I forgot to call back a few people and when I message them back they also never reply. I working lah, when I message back can at least let me know you received my message so I know it didn't get lost? Thanx.
2) It is true we must all get a life but circumstanes change when the situation is different we must adapt to it. Different people react differently to different situations but it is also true that unless you have been in a particular situation that you really understand what a person is going through. I will never understand anyone fully so it is also true that no one will fully understand me. I have met a lot of people who don't really treasure relationships (not just the romantic kind, I include alliances, 'friends', etc) and only treat it as a pillar of support only when they are in need. What for man? Making use of others? I also have met people who think too highly of themselves (watch out for when you will fall)and I hate people who treat old people like trash and unimportant (hello, you will all get old someday!!!)
3) You can trust other people but you must also trust your instincts. The world is very realistic, even the most innocent people over time also have to learn to adapt to this realistic society.
I can go on and on and on ah well, anyway just now watched Mighty Joe Young on TV, makes me want to watch King Kong as well = ) The gorilla so cute. Cute! Cute!

Check out the balloons display at IMM

2005-11-27T05:46:00.000-08:00

Hi pple,
IMM got this really nice balloon display, like I have messaged you already heehee nice big display of a carriage and also the motor car. Still got horse, cartoony people CUTE..Kawaii..
Heehee.
Okie, gotta do my stuff that's all folks
= )
moon

Well well

2005-11-25T07:50:00.000-08:00

Well, so many things have happened so far, I just want to live my life without regrets = )
Will be jam-packing my holidays with work, fyp and other commitments. Ya, go see my granny more often = )
I wanna watch Harry Potter, etc etc etc...so much stuff to do, catch up with you pple when free
byes

Thinking

2005-11-18T00:01:00.000-08:00

Been at NUH for the past few days while studying for the exams.
just wanna say thanks to Mel for the souvenir, so kawaii!! Haha, the Japanese are really conscientious when it comes to packaging and details, the soft toy is so well-done, even the fur is in one direction = )
Other than that, well you people know lah, about my granny. Besides that, so much has happened these few years, don't learn also have to learn how to juggle = ) I know what are my priorities right now and having fun is really at the bottom of my list. I just want to make sure that I will never regret anything in my life, so I will do my best in whatever I can.
Well, catch up when free yah, most probably eh, nighttime go chill out? Hmm...we'll see yah...in the meantime, anyone got tuition lobang starting holidays? My students all want their holiday = )
Ciao

What's happening with my life...

2005-11-12T07:25:00.000-08:00

Ok, this is an update on what is happening with my life right now:
Currently having exams. My Grandma just got warded in hospital, hope all goes well. My tuition has stopped but I will be busy during the so-called holidays, don't think I will have time for a short getaway to neighbouring countries. May be getting my wisdom toth extracted during holidays, see how busy first. Mine supposedly is going to cost $450, how come my friends do all $200-$300 only...hmmm..
My tooth has got infected so many times I have lost count. My gums are currently swollen and bleeding but I am still enjoying my food, at the other side of my mouth haha
Ok, back to study. Nitez pple = )

Heez

2005-11-11T06:50:00.000-08:00

Well, in case pple are blur...I was having two handphone numbers for almost 8 months as I have changed my mobile subscriber. I have an old retention number which was valid and to be with me.
So I can still be contacted at my old number except that my new number will appear everytime I contact someone else. Anyway, here comes the real reason why I went and deleted my old handphone number when I could have kept two numbers. Firstly, pple keep asking me why I have 2 numbers, which one is the real one? Secondly, I want to be uncontactable to some people. And and second part of my second reason is that dunno why this girl here so stupid that day...
I was at this shopping centre and was looking at some woks from one of the floors of the departmental store. The this salesman keep smiling at me, I find it quite paiseh this girl here looking at wok...so I smile smile, thinking that he finds it funny that this girl here is a bit auntie auntie...Ok, and then I went down the escalator to buy cheesecake. Then I saw the salesman downstairs and I was about to leave the departmental store when he called "Xiao Jie, do I know you?" in chinese. Then I said, "Huh?..." Then he said that he worked in somewhere and whether I work there before...I said no and anyway, we talk for a while he keep insisting he's local I told him cannot be, he got accent when he speak.. and show me IC if really local haha...Anyway, later he said "So can I know you?" I think it is the exam stress and me a bit blur blur and not in my usual mode bah, I actually gave him my number, luckily I gave him my old one so after that I went straight to Singtel to cancel the line. Argghh, I broke my record, this guy ask me for 6 months I never give, this one ask me for a few minutes I give..siao...I thought we learn never to talk to strangers when we were young and I anyhow give number siao...
I know, my friends will say why, nothing wrong what...In fact I a bit regret cancelling my number cos I like my old digits. Aiyah, you know it is called impulse bah, I totally regret giving my number away so I hurry went and cancel the line. We do all kinds of weird things. It may be a good thing I cancelled the line also lah, I really don't want a total stranger to come and chat me up and disturb me during my exam period. Ok, so next time I am out shopping with anyone of my friends and I suddenly siam, you know why ah...

Just a quote

2005-10-31T10:09:00.000-08:00

Tobias Wolff: We are made to persist. That's how we find out who we are.

When you know you are saturated haha

2005-10-30T08:14:00.000-08:00

Well, when you lack sleep and you catch up on it only to feel even sleepier, when every paper's number is embedded in your mind, when you need to run to get a break(despite having cough) haha...ah well..
Ok, I learnt not very advisible to run even though you have been having cough for the past, 1 month. Although recovering, yes I see doctor take antibiotics finished entire course but well, still a bit of cough...hiaz...my auntie says its the stress, I dunno lah, all I know is coughing at first I thought will have washboard tummy haha, not true...sit-ups still better
Anyway, dunno whether is it called too long never exercise, got inspired to run faster. And well, today I saw a lump of shit at the staircase at my tuition kid's block..yikes spoil my breakfast mood, lucky dun have time to eat breakfast. There were flies circulating around the lump of shit, I dunno whether it belongs to a dog or some kid...Diao..
Ok, maybe should have bought 4D huh...since so "lucky". Well, lucky I never step on the shit although I was rushing heehee
Enough liao, back to studies
Tata

Nearing exams

2005-10-26T05:17:00.000-07:00

Wah, exams are coming, now finishing touches to my corrosion assignment. Been a bit under the weather on and off recently, guess it is due to stress and if that is the case, how come I put on 2 kgs, shit.....Ok, must watch what I eat, somemore no time to exercise plus sick how to exercise?
Yah, I tried drinking green tea just now, then keep visiting the loo haha...It's the sample from the exam goodie bag haha...But dun think it really helps to slim down except that it helps you go loo many many times...
Tuition has ended with my pri 3 kid, very cute, this kid. I was trying to go through all her vocabulary list and well, I come up with all kins of ways to explain to her in simple terms heehee...
For example, the word "Bulge", I told her you sit down you will have a bulge at the tummy area haha..She said she dun have haha Then later she say have a little bit..heehee cute cute...
Then another word, "stuck", I told her it means you are at somewhere and you cannot get out or cannot move, then I jokingly said "For example, if you are stuck in the toilet bowl, you can't get out.." Hahahahaa, my student burst out in laughter...
And another word, "considerate" I told her it is inconsiderate to not flush the toilet after using it, then she started telling me about how else to be inconsiderate yadda yadda yadda..funny...
And well, not only my students are having exams, so am I. Working hard, horoscope says I need a break, I guess I should but ah well...
So many things recently...
Tired...
But we must press on = )
Ganbatte